Mother's Day

This is a true Mother’s Day blog!

It is being written in a rush, while one child naps (post calpol frenzy) and the other is distracted by checking for the latest Minecraft updates. The dog has fallen asleep and my husband is putting tea (or dinner if you’re posh) in the slow cooker.  It’s a rare moment of peace and quiet in a generally busy household. 

I spoke too soon...

The slow cooker work is finished and I am now trying to write this with a soundtrack of Formula One blaring in the background. You may have to forgive the odd repeated word or spelling mistake!

Right, earphones in and Kari Jobe to help me refocus…

Having scrolled through Facebook I am reminded that Mother’s Day is a strange day really. It stirs up a full range of emotions that seem to reflect the joy and pain of being a Mum.

There are those who have posted gorgeous pictures with their Mums and shared how they are an inspiration, thanking them for their love and care.

There are those who have posted pictures of a Mum they cannot share Mother’s Day with. Mum’s that were taken far too soon and cannot enjoy the Mother’s Day celebrations with their children and grandchildren. 

There are those who have posted pictures of women who do not officially hold the title of Mum and yet their influence and love has had a profound positive impact. Thank you to my very own Fairy Godmother for your love and support throughout my life. xx

There are those who are longing for missing Mother’s Day cards they will never receive. Cards from loved ones who are no longer with us or from little ones that were too frail to make it through. Today, amidst the celebrations of Motherhood, we also remember your loss.

There are those who desperately want a better relationship with their Mum, but for whatever reason it seems like an uphill battle for both parties.

There are those who long to be a Mum but it just hasn’t happened yet. We haven’t forgotten about you or the quiet pain that you carry around with you as each month passes.

There are those who cannot see their Mum today for random reasons like unexpected bouts of Scarlet Fever. That’s why I can’t see my Mum today. As she battles with the debilitating condition of rheumatoid arthritis her failing immune system can't risk spending time with my little girl's bright pink cheeks and temperature spikes. Thank you Mum for your loving care especially when you have been in pain and unwell. In the middle of all the doctors appointments and endless treatments at the hospital you have still been more concerned about my well-being than your own. Love you x

I know I’ve barely mentioned the full spectrum of emotions that surface on Mother’s Day, but whatever kind of day you're experiencing then you're in my thoughts.

I am quite willing to admit that sometimes I find being a Mum flipping hard work! 

Like, REALLY hard work! 

I sometimes envy those Mums who are devastated at the end of the summer holidays because they’ll miss their kids when they're back at school. This is where I need to confess that often I’m counting down the days. I know there are others who belong to this secret society as well and that I am not alone in finding being a Mum a bit of a struggle sometimes. We are the Mums that don’t want to share our last bit of dessert (that we've eaten slowly because it’s a million syns) just because our child has wolfed theirs down in two seconds and now wants some more. You see, my ridiculously sweet-toothed Mum would have readily and willingly given me her dessert when I was a child. My sister and I have often wondered if that special unselfish Super-Mum gene skipped a generation.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my kids to bits, but I have been known to stand in the conservatory begging my family to throw me a sock so that I can be a free house elf! Try as I might I struggle to see picking up washing and tidying up after everyone as a beautiful offering of servanthood! When you’re a Mum, you are all things to all people. You take on the role of Personal Assistant (often to your husband as well), nurse, housekeeper, peacemaker, problem solver, counsellor and disciplinarian. Yes it’s a huge privilege, but there are times, like when your little girl tells you straight that she “loves Daddy” but just “likes Mummy”, that being a Mum is flipping hard work. 

But, do you know what? I can honestly say that, through God’s grace, I am doing my absolute best to be the Mum my kids need me to be. I recognise that my children won’t understand my parental slip-ups until they are having their own arguments with a toddler that suddenly hates the blueberries they previously couldn't get enough of. I know there will be a point where they, like me, will realise that being a Mum is about doing your very best to make your children feel loved and valued and not beating yourself up too much when you don’t quite meet the impossible standard you have set for yourself.

“Let’s think about grace - grace from a God who loves us and values us and picks us up every time we fall, with just exactly the same love and tenderness you feel when you pick up your kids after they’ve fallen. And the grace we show one another when we finally drop the comparisons and the catalogue images and really walk with one another, on the good days and bad days. Let’s think about honesty and helping and telling our stories. Let’s give each other a break and a little help and some soft places to land.

If you’re a mum, what you do is nurture and protect and give grace. You do it all the time, and it’s very important, because it reminds us, in daily tangible ways how God nurtures and protects and gives grace. And maybe today the one who really needs that nurturing protection and grace is you.”

Shauna Niequiest

Have a blessed Mother’s Day!

Kay Moorby