We said that we weren’t doing presents but knowing that I had the kids today, that Smyths toy shop probably wasn’t going to have anything and the fact that my husband is really difficult to buy for, I decided to write this instead. He will both love the sentiment and loathe the embarrassment in equal measure, but he should have thought of that before he encouraged me to start writing!
Today is our 5th wedding anniversary!
The pathway to our wedding day hasn’t exactly been straightforward for either of us.
During the wedding service these beautiful words were sung:
I set out on a narrow way many years ago,
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road.
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through.
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.
Every long-lost dream led me to where you are.
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.
This much I know is true...
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.
(Marcus Hummon, Bobby Boyd & Jeff Hanna, 1994)
My road to the 23rd of December 2011 had been pretty broken.
I joke about the fact that filling out the previous names section of forms always takes me a while, but it’s actually a less than gentle reminder that relationships haven’t exactly been my strong point. Those who have experienced it will know that divorce is a grieving process! Not only that, but it can make you feel like you have monumentally (and very publicly) failed. I had failed at making something work that was once so special to me, but more importantly, I had failed at something that was so special to God. I’ve spoken to other Christian divorcees and they have shared similar feelings.
In the early days I constantly reminded Lyndon that I would be bringing a lot emotional baggage to our relationship and that it was perfectly fine if he wanted to run for the hills. He never did! He supported me through counselling, held me while I cried and patiently listened while I tried to make sense of everything. Despite the mistakes I have made, my husband has never made me feel “less than” or “damaged goods.”
Don’t get me wrong, there are times when he absolutely does my case in! He is forgetful, suffers from a serious case of iPhone addiction and still hasn’t put the curtain pole back up even though it fell down nearly two weeks ago! However, my need to do everything at once, all at the same time, while planning a detailed schedule of how it will be achieved, also drives him up the wall. Somehow, it seems to work just fine and over the past five years I have been truly blessed to have him in my life.
Thank you for five years of laughter when at times it’s felt like there hasn’t been much to laugh about.
Thank you for five years of patience while I’ve been working out what life looks like after a career in teaching.
Thank you for five years of precious family life and for our cheeky little angel.
Thank you for five years of loving my boy as your own.
Thank you for five years of doing the morning school run (even though you despise it more than anything in the world).
More importantly, thank you for five years of love and friendship.
“I thank my God every time I remember you.”
You might be wondering what’s different.
How am I so sure that things will work out this time?
For me it’s simple. I no longer expect my husband to fulfil the role of God in my life. Although he does all these things, I don’t depend on him to make me feel whole, to bolster my self esteem, to be a mind reader or to constantly second guess every aspect of how I’m feeling and respond accordingly. No one can meet those demands. My true value and worth cannot come from a fallible human being (no offence Mr Moorby).
My true value comes from God.
So to my beloved husband I wish you a very happy anniversary. God really is blessing our broken road.